15 Questions I May Never Find The Answers To

  1. How many licks will it take for me to get to the center of a tootsie pop?  I have tried a countless number of times over the years since childhood.
  2. Why am I always given a stack of napkins for a regular hamburger at McDonald’s, but zero napkins for a sloppy Big Mac?
  3. Why haven’t my jaw ever been broken by a jawbreaker?
  4. Why are selfies suddenly popular?  We were taking pictures of ourselves years ago, back in the disposable camera days.
  5. Why don’t I get strong like Popeye when I eat spinach?
  6. How much wood could a woodchuck chop, if a woodchuck could chop wood?
  7. It is easy to fall in love.  Why is it hard to fall out of?
  8. How is it that 5 billion people can tell me all about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, Jay-Z and Beyoncé, and Honey Boo Boo, but only 5 can tell me about Malaysia Flight 370, the 200+ kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls, and last years United States federal government shutdown?
  9. Why do high school athletes get full-ride college scholarships, but high academic achievers hold bake sales and spaghetti dinner fundraisers to pay for at least one semester?
  10. Why do blacks become furious when called ‘nigger’ by whites, but happily call each other ‘nigga?’ (not all of us say ‘nigga’)
  11.  If white racists hate blacks so much, then why do they spend hours baking in the sun until they are dark?
  12. Why does Michigan have cold winters when it’s shaped like a mitten?  Will we ever be able to borrow Louisiana’s boot?
  13. Why does a know-it-all know-it all?
  14. Why haven’t Calgon taken me away?
  15. Who shot J.R.?
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