I have been trying to locate a document for some time now, and I have been unable to find it.  I cannot find anything close to it.  So I am desperately seeking everyone’s help in finding this important document.

I am looking for a law.  You know, a set of rules and guidelines that tells what we can and cannot do.  Anyway, I don’t know if the law that I’m looking for is on the local, state, or federal level, but it must be out there somewhere because I’m often called out on certain things.

I am looking for the law that says that just because I am a black female:

• My natural hair should not be shoulder length, otherwise people might think it’s a weave.
• I should always be prepared to convince people that my hair is not permed/relaxed because it’s “so soft” and “pretty.”
• I have to like Beyonce
• I have to watch Tyler Perry movies
• I have to watch basketball wives reality tv shows.  (I don’t even know the name of the show.  All I know is something about Atlanta, basketball, and wives.)
• I have to listen to “black music”
• I am expected to cuss and use slang in my everyday vocabulary
• I must gossip.  ALL THE TIME.
• The farthest I can travel for a vacation is the 4-5 hour drive to Illinois for the Taste of Chicago (food festival) and the Cincinnati Jazz Festival.  Florida and the Caribbean are a no-no.
• The only channel I can watch is BET (Black Entertainment Television).  CNN (Cable News Network) is not allowed.
• Under no circumstances am I supposed to read comic books and attend comic conventions.

Whew!  That’s a lot.  See why I need your help?

Stereotyping.  We are all guilty of it.  What I listed are just a few of the stereotypes that I encounter on a daily basis.

I was chastised by a black female for not liking Tyler Perry movies.  I tried to explain to her that I don’t dislike his movies, it’s just not my preferred genre.  I am into horror, action/adventure, fantasy, and sci-fi.  A white female overheard the conversation and said, “YOU don’t like Tyler Perry movies?  I like Tyler Perry movies.”  I didn’t feel the need to further explain myself, so I shrugged my shoulders and walked away.

Back in the fall I was chastised and belittled for watching Thor:  The Dark World (IMAX, 3D of course) instead of The Best Man Holiday at the movie theater.  Yes I know that the handsome Morris Chestnut was a lead character, but I chose to put my love of superhero and action/adventure first.

I won’t even tell you how several black females got on my case for not watching Precious.  They were mad at me because I refused to watch that movie.  But what they don’t know is, I don’t care for black drama.  My life has been full of family drama for as long as I can remember.  Why pay to watch it at a theater when I get it for free all the time?  I didn’t tell them any of that because it’s none of their, or anyone else’s, damn business.

Do I need to tell you that people wonder why I read comic books?  And the suggestions of books I should be reading because that’s what they’re reading?  I find it funny that people recommend shit for me to read, although I have never seen a book in their hands.

I am going to end my tantrum here because I’m starting to type bad words.  Remember, cussing is expected of black females.  I think.

I am going to search for this law until I find it.  If and when I do find this set of rules, I am going to read them.   And then I am going to continue breaking them.