Category Archives: Parenting

Wanted: Someone To Be Me For A Day

Parenting, Random Silliness

Here is my job posting to be me for a day.

JOB TITLE:  Superwoman

JOB DESCRIPTION: 

  • Wake up at 6 a.m. to get middle schooler up and ready for school.  (sometimes it’s a hassle because he likes to keep sleeping and will expect you to be the snooze on his alarm clock).  You’ll have to fuss at him to get off the 3DS, iPhone, and to tie his shoes (they always come unlaced).
  • Once the middle schooler leaves, prepare to get the 8 yr-old up and ready for school.  He is a special needs child, so getting him ready is a major chore.  Be ready to dress him while his eyes are focused on PBS Sprout channel.  He may also have a meltdown at the last-minute, when it’s time to leave for maybe even the smallest thing.
  • Sleep a couple of hours or run errands until time to get ready for work.  12-hour shifts 1p-1:30a.
  • If you don’t run errands on the day you work, then cook dinner and wash a load (or two if you have time) of dirty laundry before you leave for work.
  • If you don’t work that day, work on the to-do list (errands, phone calls, shopping, etc.)
  • Check on my brother at the nursing home.  I’m his legal guardian so you may be given decision-making questions/ideas either by phone or while you’re at the nursing home.  Be prepared for his smart mouth.  He is paralyzed from MS (Multiple Sclerosis), and the only thing that he can pretty much move on his own is that sharp tongue of his.
  • If you’re working that day, squeeze in a 10-15 minute nap before showering.  You’re going to need it because you will be working in an Emergency Department at a level 1 trauma center.
  • If you’re not working, be prepared to hear the middle schooler run his mouth when he gets home from school about what you cooked.  You’ll have to fuss that he can’t always have fast/fried foods.

QUALIFICATIONS:

  • Must have patience
  • Must be willing to work with special needs child
  • Must be able to multi-task, take constructive criticism, and not take mess off anyone at work
  • Must know how to cook
  • Must have conflict resolution skills (the boys fight every night.  The youngest is very aggressive and violent most of the time)
  • Must be able to get by with no more than 3-4 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period
  • Must be a quick thinker and problem solver, especially if the school calls because the youngest is having a meltdown.  You may be told to pick him up.  If you’re at work, prepare to leave right away or call around and find someone to go up to the school.

SALARY:  You will be generously rewarded with excessive fatigue, throbbing headache, back talk, and little to no sleep.

HOW TO APPLY:  Applications are being accepted at the homes of women with a full-time job (and part-time if she has one like me), and special needs child(ren).  That way, in case you don’t live in Michigan, at least someone will be able to take a well deserved break. Applications accepted worldwide.

APPLICATION DEADLINE:  There will never be a deadline.

Remember the errands I mentioned?  Well this is my errand for the day, writing this blog post.  Now it’s time for me to rush and jump in the shower to start my 12-hour shift.  Oh yeah, and remember the part-time job?  I already worked one of them at the elementary school earlier this morning.

Please apply soon.  There are plenty of superwomen, like myself, that needs you.

Proud of my Good Kid

Parenting,

Child #1:  Do you want to go outside?

Child #2:  I don’t think that’s a good idea.  My mom doesn’t like me being outside when no one’s home.

Child #1:  She don’t have to know.

Child #2:  But she might worry if she calls home and I don’t answer.

Child #1:  Take the phone outside.

Child #2:  No, I’m not going to do that.

That was a conversation between my 12 year-old, 7th grade son and his friend.  As you can tell by the title of this blog post, child #2 is my son.

On the days that I work, my son calls me as soon as he gets home.  When he called me a couple of days ago and told me the above conversation, I was angry at his friend, yet relieved that my son did not give in to peer pressure.

I guess I shouldn’t have been upset, I’ve always had the gut feeling that the other child was up to no good.  And my intuition was correct.

I taught my son at an early age about my door of communication.  He knows that he can talk to me about anything.  He often tells me a lot of nothing, or what the other kids at school are doing, but I’m good at filtering.  So you can imagine how happy I was to know that he did not give in, and disobey my rule of not leaving home.

There was not a door of communication in my family while I was growing up.  I am the second youngest of six children.  I couldn’t talk to my mother, brothers, or sisters about anything.  If I did, then the only thing that would happen would be gossip, and a lot of laughter behind my back .

My family doesn’t know that I was always talked about at school, how I jumped on a couple of kids at school when I got tired of them messing with me, and so on.  All they know is that I was a good kid that was on the honor roll, played sports, and was in the band.  They don’t know the pain and struggles I endured while growing up.

I refuse to let my children go down the path of loneliness, and eventually resentment, like I did.  I took my childhood negatives and turned them into positives.  Therefore, I will always be at my children sides for support.

The other day was only the beginning for my son.  I just hope that he continues to make the right decisions.  No one is perfect so I’m sure he’s going to get into some stuff (I know I did).

My son is not a mama’s boy.  But he is a good kid, and I am proud of him.

 

 

 

Parenting Tip #2: Little Smart-Mouth Girls Are Not Cute

Parenting, , , , , ,

NOTE TO PARENTS (especially mothers):  little smart-mouth girls are not cute.  They’re not funny either.

Smart-mouth kids is a pet peeve of mine, probably because I wasn’t mouthy while growing up.  I turn my head so fast in the direction of kids talking smart to their parents, or any other adult, that I’m surprised my neck haven’t snapped by now.

This blog post focuses on toddler and preschool-aged girls.  Those little 2-5 year-old girls that stand with their hands on their hips while talking.  They can barely pronounce their own names, yet they are able to say an assortment of smart-alecky words.

My niece was one of those little mouthy girls at that age.  She was around age 3 or 4 when one day, out of nowhere, she said, “For your information.”  I had no idea what she was talking about, and neither did she.  She now has a 5 year-old daughter who’s even mouthier.

For some reason, and I don’t care to know that reason, a lot of women think it’s cute and funny when toddler and preschool girls talk smart.  Well it’s not.  And I can’t stand the following:

  • “Oh did you hear her?  She’s so cute.”
  • “Ain’t she cute?”
  • “Ain’t she grown?”
  • “Look at her lil grown self.”
  • “Gone girl with yo’ bad self.”

These little girls walk around, talking smart to whomever they like, and their mothers don’t say a word.  Well, not all mothers keep quiet.  Some mothers, or other female figures, don’t allow that madness.  My mother, sisters and I didn’t allow my niece to talk smart around us.

A few years ago while I was at work, a little girl around 4-5 years of age, was standing at the nurses’ station talking smart and sassy.  She responded sensibly when asked her name and age, but the attitude was definitely there.  One of my co-workers laughed loudly and said, “Ain’t she grown y’all?  Ain’t she grown?”  My other co-workers and I told her no, that she was not grown.

A few minutes later, the child’s aunt arrived while she was talking.  The aunt quickly put an end to that madness.  She told the child that she didn’t know why her mother let her talk that way, but that she was going to stop it.

Mouthy female toddlers and preschoolers are not cute.  And they’re not grown.  They are disrespectful.  But I can’t blame them because they don’t know any better.  I blame their parents, especially their mothers.

Parenting Tip #1: Hand Washing

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Hand washing is the best way to prevent germs from spreading and avoid getting sick.  Kids may listen when parents tell them to wash their hands, but it’s our job to make sure they follow through with it.  We can’t follow our kids everywhere they go, but we can make sure they ALWAYS wash their hands while at home, in hopes they do the same when they are out in the public.

I went into a restroom at a fast-food restaurant a few days ago.  Both stalls were taken, until a little girl walked out of one of them.  I went into the stall, and the child started talking to another young girl in the other stall.  Within a couple of minutes, both of the girls walked out of the bathroom without washing their hands.  Maybe I overreacted.  The soap and water worked for me, but maybe it was just a coincidence.  Maybe it wasn’t working at the time for the girls.  Yeah right.

Parents, please stress the importance of hand washing to your children.  Soap and water.  Hand sanitizer if, if necessary.

Training kids to wash their hands from an early age will hopefully stick with them into adulthood.  That way, they won’t become like the lady I saw in a restroom at a courthouse a few months ago.  She used the bathroom, but ran her fingers (not the entire hands) under the water for no more than two seconds.  I used a public restroom at my job recently.  On two separate occasions, a woman walked out of the stall, and right on out of the bathroom without stopping at the sink.  UGH.  GROSS.  NASTY.