Tag Archives: blog

How I Handle the C Word, Plan to Handle the B Word, and Will Never Handle the S Word

I know the title is long, but I tried to shorten it.  Well, I didn’t try at all, but I thought about it for a quick second.  However, this blog post will be short and to the point.

How I handle the C word
No mother wants to be told that her child has cancer.  Two weeks before my son’s 11th birthday back in June, I learned that what was thought to be a bruise on his leg from falling while running was actually a mass.  A tumor.  Osteosarcoma.  So just how in the hell am I supposed to handle the fact (according to biopsy report) that my child has bone cancer?  That my child has to undergo intense chemotherapy-surgery-chemotherapy treatment over the next few months?  Each chemo admission ranges 2-5 days in the hospital.  On top of all that, my son is already special needs.  He has a rare condition called Tuberous Sclerosis Complex (TSC) and a multitude of other health issues.

My son and I don’t like saying the word cancer, so we say C word instead.  He also says tumor while I say osteo.  Sometimes we don’t say anything at all.  So how am I handling it?  Let’s just say that I’m handling it, that I’ve come a long way since being told the heartbreaking news.

My son standing next to a locomotive at Greenfield Village in Dearborn, Michigan last month. He is train obsessed.

How I plan to handle the B Word
I should have typed word in plural form because this section actually consists of two B words.

The first word is book.  I wrote my first book, Leaving the Hidden Path:  Guidance for Women with Young Kids Considering Divorce.  My original plan was to launch it on August 15th which will be 1 year since my divorce.  All hell broke loose when I learned of my son’s life threatening illness, so I had to put my writing aside for a minute.  I am now making plans to release the book in September.

Now for the second B word.  Let’s see if you can guess the word by looking at the gorgeous lady in the picture below.

Okay, so the gorgeous lady is me.  I am very self-confident so I will always call myself beautiful, gorgeous, pretty, and sexy.  I was having a bad day last year so I called one of my best friends and burst out crying as soon as he answered the phone.  After telling him what was going on, he suggested I get a Bad Bitch shirt  made.  Bad bitch?  I rarely say bad words but it sound like a good idea, so I went to the mall and had the shirt made.  Some people like to mistake a person’s kindness for weakness.  Sometimes you overlook it, but when you don’t, well that’s when you become a bitch.  So I had to learn how to become a bad bitch.  Don’t worry, I’m only one when necessary, lol.

My book’s target audience is women with minor children considering divorce, and it contains examples from my personal life.  That’s where the bitch part comes to play.  I am already anticipating being called that and plenty of other things when I release the book.  But hey, I helped myself out of a situation, and now I want to help other women who may be in the same boat.  Getting called a bitch, or bad bitch, is okay.  It is not the first time I’ve been called one, and I guarantee you it won’t be the last.

How I will never handle the S word
Maintaining my sanity is a bit tricky.  A special needs child newly diagnosed with osteosarcoma (bone cancer) in addition to a long list of other health concerns.  A book about divorce that I plan to launch in September.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that a fundraiser is being planned by my ex-husband’s co-workers for our son for next month.  I am still releasing my book next month.  Chaos, chaos, chaos.

The average mom wouldn’t even be able to handle half of what I have been through, and still going through.  But will I ever handle the S word, or my sanity though?  I have no idea.  Some might call me crazy, others will call me supermom or superwoman.  Only time will tell.  But right now, time is telling me to be that bad bitch!

Oops!  I said this blog post would be short didn’t I?  Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this random post as much as I enjoyed typing it.  I just wanted to blow off some steam.


Random Thoughts Part 3

It has been a long time since I have posted my random thoughts, so I have quite a bit to share with you.  In case you have forgotten or you are a new reader to my blog (welcome!), my comments are in no particular order.  They are just as random as this blog post.

  1. Have you seen the video clip of the 4 year-old girl in Ohio that was blown off her feet by strong winds as she opened the door to her home?  Within seconds she and the door were blown out of sight.  She didn’t even drop her cellphone.  Incredible!
  2. I attended public schools and my children are in the public school system.  I had Pell grants and I have student loans.  That makes me overqualified for Education Secretary.  It was suggested that I could be Surgeon General but apparently I am overqualified for that position as well.  Ah forget it, I give up.
  3. Ben Carson is Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD).  I recall him saying he wasn’t qualified for the position because he wasn’t experienced in running a federal agency.  Really?  But you ran for President of the United States.  I don’t know who knows the less between him and Donald Trump.
  4. Speaking of Ben Carson, I want to call him a term that is two words and begins with the letter ‘h’ so bad, but since I don’t talk that way I’ll just keep that thought to myself.
  5. I have no idea what the picture below is about but I can’t go into the store and ask anyone because I think it’s permanently closed.  There are several signs in the window, no one is ever there, and it’s always dark.
  6. They can’t find the missing Tennessee teenage girl and her former teacher, but they found Tom Brady’s jersey IN ANOTHER COUNTRY.
  7. There is a game called Toilet Trouble that is so nasty to me.  You hold your face over the toilet, flush, and get sprayed by water.  I get mad whenever the commercial comes on TV and my kids laugh at me.
  8. Speaking of getting mad, as much as I love WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment), I cannot stand their New Day Gimmick.  I like Big E. Langston, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods as wrestlers, but I can’t stand them as New Day.  They frolic around the ring gyrating while Xavier plays the trombone.  One day Kofi twerked so fast and hard I was sure his backside would fall off.  I mean, he literally dropped it like it was hot.  That’s for me, a female, to do.  I am a black female so I especially don’t like seeing brothers behave in that fashion.  I know it’s scripted but come on, that pink wearing, unicorn horns on their heads has gone on long enough.  I received a text one night while I was at work that Big E. spanked the Miz.  I was like, “What the f**k?”  Such a waste of talent.  Buffoonery at its finest.  I won’t post a picture of them but here’s merchandise I saw at the store.

  9. I follow Donald Trump on Twitter and I even comment on his ridiculous tweets at times.  My comments get deleted, probably because I’m not a celebrity or reporter with thousands of followers.  But that’s okay, I like being an unknown.  Here is one of his silly tweets.

    Here is my response.
  10. I don’t care what anyone says, the Democrats and Republicans WORKED TOGETHER to block Donald Trump’s monstrosity health care plan.  It may have been unknowing to them but they worked together.  Now all they have to do is knowingly work together and deem that mental case unfit as President of the United States.
  11. Despite the water crisis in the city of Flint, Michigan, great things have, and still are, happening in the city and the surrounding areas.  Last summer, Treehouse Masters, the television reality show on Animal Planet, built a treehouse at For-Mar Nature Preserve & Arboretum in Burton, Michigan.  Burton is located just outside the city of Flint.  There was an unusually warm day last month so my kids and I went to see the treehouse and to take a walk on a couple of nature trails.  That treehouse is BEAUTIFUL inside and out!  I watched the episode on Treehouse Masters and it was a tear-jerker.

    Pete Nelson and his crew did an amazing job.  For-Mar has superheroes and the staff made Pete a superhero!  The picture immediately above was taken inside the treehouse.  Pictured are a few of For-Mar’s superheroes.
  12. Hurley Medical Center, a level I trauma center located in the city of Flint, Michigan is also a Children’s Miracle Network (CMN) hospital.  Back in the fall Alli Simpson, a celebrity who helps raise awareness for CMN hospitals, selected Hurley to receive an aquarium for its’ children’s hospital.  Thanks to Alli and Animal Planet’s Tanked, a 900 gallon aquarium was installed at Hurley’s Children Hospital.

  13. I work at Hurley Medical Center and I was there for the unveiling of the aquarium.  I didn’t even try to control my tears.  We had to keep it a secret until the week it aired on television.  I am thankful beyond words for what Pete Nelson and his crew at Treehouse Masters, Alli Simpson, the crew at Tanked, and Animal Planet for what they have brought to our community.  What a blessing they are.
  14. Speaking of Michigan, I live in the only state where you can show people where you live at on your hand.
  15. My kids are left-handed and I am ambidextrous.

Those are my random thoughts for now.  I could go on but I am getting sleepy.  Feel free to add your own random thoughts or comments below and thank you for visiting my blog!

Embracing My Unique Dopeness



A member on a social media site where I hang out at always posts about being positive.  He reminds us, on a daily basis, to emit positive vibrations and to stay dope.  One of his updates hit home when he posted about being different, to just be yourself, don’t try to be like anyone else, and to stay dope.  I commented that I love my unique dopeness.

I recently revisited one of my blog posts from two years ago, I Need Your Help.  In that post I ranted about black female stereotypes and how I did not fit into those categories.  I still do not fit in and I do not care.  I don’t try to be like everyone else because I like being me.  I love my unique dopeness.

Because of my uniqueness, I have never really fit in with my own people, African-Americans.  I have been talked about and laughed at since childhood.  Family, classmates, co-workers, and strangers.  Out of all the races blacks give me the most problems, especially females.

Although it is rare, a black male will try to check me for being “different.”  Earlier this year a black male told me that I  must be married to a white man because of the way I talk.  That was pretty much the only time a male went there with me.  He was a lowlife so I didn’t even I nclude him in the equation.

I mostly get “white girl” or “you sound like a white girl” from the sisters.  It is a shame that my own people laugh at me for using my vocabulary.  We all attended school so they should know and use their vocabulary as well.

Comic books, nerd, bookworm, introvert, tech geek, model rockets, astronomy lover, Trekkie, cartoons, WWE.  That is all me.  I never wanted a traditional wedding so I got married in Jamaica.

I am not going to change because I love being me.  I am unique.  I am dope.  And I will always embrace my unique dopeness.

You don’t fit in with people, people fit in with you.

My social networking brother told me that dope statement when I informed him I was writing this random blog post and why.

By the way, take a good look at that pretty lady in the photo above.  Beautiful, natural, and flawless.  I rarely post pictures of myself but I found it appropriate to do so for this post.

Don’t Wait Until They’re Gone to Start Claiming Them

WARNING:  Rant mode.  No bars hold.

Don’t wait until I’m dead and gone to be buying me no flowers.  Give me my flowers now while I can still see and smell them.

My mother has been saying those words for as long as I can remember.  I guess I never had to worry about it because I always gave her a handful of flowers, even if I did pick them out of someone’s yard while walking home from school!  She talked to me about that but I kept doing it anyway.  I also gave her flowers, including dandelions (you thought they were pretty, yellow flowers too), from our own yard.  My kids are 14 and 10 and they still give me dandelions, I mean flowers!

I am just now realizing that my mother was referring to more than just flowers.

When my brother passed away back in July, all kinds of folks came out of the woodwork claiming he was their friend, homeboy, and how they had love for him.  But not one of those so-called friends visited my brother once he was rendered non-ambulatory the last few years of his life.  Not even a phone call or snail mail.

My mother is not just talking about flowers, about how she does not want anyone to wait until she is dead to buy flowers for her grave.  She wants visitors at her home while she is still alive.  Call her on the phone and say hello.  She does not want anyone to wait until her funeral to give that little 2-minute talk about how nice she was and how much she was loved because she won’t be able to hear any of it.

I am not on a certain social media site often, but I wanted to read an important notification I had received.  When the site pulled up on my phone, my brother’s obituary was staring me in the face.  I started sweating and my heart dropped to the floor.  His complete obituary was posted on social media.  That shocked the hell out of me because at that time, I hadn’t even seen the obituary in its entirety yet.

I wanted to yell, “WHAT THE FU*K, but I couldn’t because I was in my son’s hospital room (admitted 2 days after my brother’s death).  Why post an obituary and say a lot of good stuff for the world to see on your social media page when you didn’t even call or visit?  Someone posted that he had planned to visit my brother on a certain day.  Yeah right.  The day mentioned was the day AFTER he died.  Put a lid on it.  Where were you while he was on the ventilator (life support) the last 1 1/2 months of his life?

My sister attended a funeral a couple weeks before our brother’s.  A man sat two rows behind her and loudly talked to someone about how he visited the deceased when he was alive in the hospital and at home.  He said while at the hospital he asked the man if he remembered him and he said yes.

That was a lie.  My sister was the caregiver of the deceased.  She said the man had gotten very ill and had stopped talking.  So there was no way a verbal conversation was held in that hospital room.  She also described the so-called friend to the owner of the deceased’s home because she didn’t recognize him.  The owner said no one fit that description had visited the home.

You can’t pay a visit or phone call, but you can run your mouth on social media and out in public.  This type of behavior is not only attention-seeking, it is also disrespectful.

I don’t care who you are and where you are.  You can live next-door to Santa Claus at the North Pole for all I care.  DO NOT wait until a person leave this world to start claiming your love for him or her.  Do it now while your voice can be heard, your smile can be seen, and flowers can be smelled.

This blog post is not just for so-called friends, it is for family members as well.

As I step down from my soapbox, I would like to give everyone reading this blog post a flower.  You are a great person and I appreciate you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my blog.

I Listen To One Direction And Justin Bieber, So What?

White female:  Girl what was that you was jamming to in your truck?  You was all into it, singing and bobbing your head.

Me:  Oh, I was listening to my Maroon 5 cd.

White female:  Oh my gosh, you know you’re not white, right?

Me:  Yes I know.  But um, you know you’re not black, right?

White female:  What do you mean?

Me:  Well, you did go to that Ludacris concert, did you not?

That was a brief conversation from two years ago.

I don’t listen to “black” music, I listen to MUSIC.  I really don’t care what color the artist is, it’s the words and the beat that matters.

Back in my carefree days, I listened to Run-DMC, Public Enemy, LL Cool J, Geto Boys, Too Short, N.W.A., 2 Live Crew, and others.  I had no responsibility.  No one to take care of but myself.  I had all the time in the world to tootsie roll and drop in my daisy dukes.

But my tastes changed to coincide with my changing lifestyle.  I am now a wife, mother of two young boys, work a full-time stressful job, and the legal guardian of my paralyzed brother.

I work 12-hour shifts, getting off at 1:30 a.m.  My youngest child is special needs, so I’m often on edge.

When driving home from a busy and tiring day at work, or trying to relax after handling my son’s meltdowns,  I want to hear words like:

You’re insecure, don’t know what for,
You’re turning heads when you walk through the door.
Don’t need make-up,
To cover up,
Being the way that you are is enough.

Everyone else in the room can see it,
Everyone else but you.

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,
But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell,
You don’t know,
Oh, oh,
You don’t know you’re beautiful.
If only you saw what I can see,
You’d understand why I want you so desperately,
Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe,
You don’t know,
Oh, oh,
You don’t know you’re beautiful.
What Makes You Beautiful
One Direction

And words like:

As long as you love me,
We could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke.
As long as you love me,
I’ll be your platinum, I’ll be your silver, I’ll be your gold.
As Long As You Love Me
Justin Bieber

These are the types of songs that I listen to during my hectic moments, which is almost always.  They are rejuvenating, and helps with winding down.

I know that my butt is big, so I don’t need Jason Derulo to tell me it’s like two planets.  And bands don’t make me dance.  Music makes me dance.  Sorry Juicy J.

Don’t get me wrong, I listen to the above artists, but on my way to work, and on my days off.  I can’t listen to party music when I’m tired and stressed out.

Just to add fuel to the fire for the haters, I’m liking American Authors right now.  I listen to Best Day of My Life almost on a daily basis.

So what is the point of this blog post?  Nothing really.  I just wanted to vent off that I can listen to whatever music that I choose.