Category Archives: Rants and Tantrums

Your Father is not the Reason for Your Shortcomings

Parenting, Rants and Tantrums, ,
  1. To be such a small dot on the map, the city of Flint, Michigan has a very high crime rate.  Most of the crimes are committed by males.
  2. I have recently read several social media posts from guys talking about their current or past bad behaviors.
  3. There are a lot of men with poor father-son relationships.

What does the above three sentences have in common?

Most of the males blame their fathers for their flaws, or shortcomings.  This blog post will focus on the latter of the three.

As a father, you are a role model for your son.  You are to take over once he leaves infancy and enter the toddler stage.  Your son’s personal growth, emotional development, and masculinity depends on you.  You are supposed to teach him how to be a man.  The more involved you are with your child, the more of a man he will become.

I am sick and tired of always hearing and reading I grew up without a father, my dad wasn’t there for me, my dad wasn’t around, and all the other my dad this and my dad that bullshit.

Last year a male family member told me the reason he does not play with his sons (especially outdoors) is because his father didn’t play with him, and did not show him how to throw a football (when asked why he won’t play ball with them).  Again, BULLSHIT.

Men need to be physically active with their sons.  Play games, hold a race, throw a frisbee.  Don’t just watch them play, get out there and PLAY WITH THEM.  Boys are more active and aggressive than girls, so it’s important that dads get involved in their lives as early as possible in order to foster a healthy father-son relationship.

Encourage and support your son’s choice of play and activities, and participate.  So what if his likes are different from yours.  Remember that he is your son.  He is NOT YOU.

Fellas, if you are on that blame your dad bandwagon then jump off, stop your bullshitting and listen up.  It is never too late to have a meaningful relationship with your son.  Just because your father may not have been there for you does not mean that you have to hinder your own child’s personal and emotional growth.

You are getting a fresh start when you become a father.  Talk to other men about how they spend quality time with their sons.  Attend father-son activities (the YMCA Camp Copneconic in my area hosts weekend overnight family camps including father/son).

My two older brothers were constantly in and out of jail back in the day.  The oldest is 15 years older than me so I don’t know much about him.  But I do recall that he would stay in jail for a long time.  I am talking years.  My other brother is 4 years older than me.  My earliest memory of him getting into trouble was while he was in junior high school.

Our parents separated when I was a child, and to this day neither of my brothers has played the blame the father card.  They were just being boys.

The younger brother always played and roughhoused with his sons.  He also loved model cars and electronics.  Whenever I visited him and his family, they would either be working on model car kits, fixing radios, or wrestling in the center of the floor.  My brother now lives in a nursing home, paralyzed from MS (Multiple Sclerosis).  He spent quality time with his two sons all the way up until he was physically unable to do so.

Whatever the reasons are for your lack of involvement, get over it and teach your sons how to be men.  Teach them how to be a leader and take charge.

If you have social anxiety then seek counseling.  But you don’t have to give all of your money to a therapist when I’m giving you free advice right here and now.

Get your asses up from in front of that Xbox and Playstation and spend some quality time with your child.

As I step down from my soap box, I would like to leave you with this.  Guys, your father is NOT the reason for your shortcomings, especially your lack of involvement in the lives of your son(s).  YOU are the reason.  So grow a pair and use them.

 

I Prefer Autism Over Normal Anytime

Parenting, Random Thoughts, Rants and Tantrums, ,

BEWARE:  I am in full rant mode right now, and my tongue is explosive.  No holds barred.  Anything goes.  Consider yourself warned.

Last week I worked as a substitute in an autistic classroom, at a school for special needs, of adult students ages 20-26.  Their speech levels ranged from nonverbal to hyperverbal.  Before I left the building for the day, I decided that I would prefer to associate myself with people in the special needs community, especially autism, over the so-called normal people anytime.

Special:  Unusual, unique, exceptional, better.  In other words, different from the usual. 

Normal:  Typical, standard, or what’s expected

So why would I prefer autism over normal?  Well, the entire time that I was inside the school, not just in the classroom, but as I walked through the building interacting with other staff and students:

  • I didn’t see or hear anyone poke fun at someone else
  • There was no gossiping
  • There were no cliques
  • I didn’t hear the ‘R’ word (retarded is not in my household’s vocabulary)
  • Everyone minded their own business
  • Intelligent conversations
  • Extremely smart
  • Problem solvers

So how does that compare to so-called normal people?  Come on now, do I really need to go there?  Since this is a ranting blog post, I’m definitely going there.

As I look back over my K-12 school years, college, and now the workplace, I can see why special needs is called just that, special.  Look at my bulleted list above.  Isn’t that amazing?

Now let’s take a look at my list of qualities of a normal person.

  • Gossip
  • Cliques
  • Ridicule
  • Belittle
  • Hatred
  • Envy
  • Prejudice
  • Discrimination
  • Greed
  • Arrogance
  • Corruption

This list is nowhere near finished, but I just got home from work and I’m tired.  Otherwise, I would type until my fingers get numb.

Can you see why I prefer to associate myself with autistic individuals?  There was a hyperverbal student with a superhero obsession.  For those of you who don’t know, I’m a lifelong comic book nerd, so I was excited to talk with him.  But what I didn’t know was that he was allowed to talk about superheroes at snack time only.  He knew it, but as one of the other teachers said, “They know the new people!”

The students made Valentine’s Day cards.  The handwriting of one of the students’ was perfect, as if she used a ruler and a stencil.  Everything on the inside and outside of that card was positioned perfectly.

I would go on with my bragging about the students at that school, but I don’t want to make us normal people jealous.

My 8 year-old son is a special needs child.  He has a rare condition called Tuberous Sclerosis Complex (TSC).  Those with the disease have a range of issues, including autism.

My son is also autistic.  At one point he lost his speech, but he regained it a few years later.  I met several students at that school, that reminded me of my son.  He is verbal, loud, make sounds, has behavior challenges, and other issues.  But, my son is intelligent.  His obsessions are trains, geography, and numbers (including dates and years).

My son also holds mature and highly intelligent conversations.  Last school year, I closely observed his interaction with one of his classmates at the bus stop every morning.  He eventually stopped talking to that child, because his responses weren’t good enough for my son.  He’s like that with adults too.  If you can’t hold a mature and intelligent conversation, then he will have nothing to do with you.

I kept to myself when I was in school.  I was on the honor roll, and I participated in sports and other activities.  I was quiet and shy.  I had specialty classes in math and science, and most of the students I associated with, when I did talk, were quiet in nature like myself.  No gossiping.  No poking fun at others.  No cliques.  No jealousy.  Intelligent conversations.  We minded our own business.

Hmmm, am I special?  I don’t know, but with the definitions I provided above, and all the smack I ranted about in this blog post, I would say that I am special.  And guess what?  I don’t care.

 

 

 

Black Best Buy Worker Helped White Customer, Ignored Black Customer

Rants and Tantrums, , , , , , , , ,

 

bestbuy

I visited my local Best Buy store, located at G-3660 Miller Rd., Flint Township, Michigan in the afternoon on Sunday, December 21, 2014.  Out of all the years of visiting my favorite tech store, I encountered the worst customer service experience ever.

I went to Best Buy the day before and made a purchase, but I forgot to buy ink for my printer.  So on the 21st, I stood in line, in the computer area, to get a price check on the packs of HP ink I was holding.  The ink was on sale the day before on the store’s website.

There were two male Best Buy employees at both registers, one black, the other was white.  There was a white female customer being waited on by the black worker.  I was in line behind her.  The white employee couldn’t help anyone because his register was processing slowly.  Both workers were talking and laughing with the white female customer, while her significant other stood off to the side playing on his phone.  The black worker was skinnin’ and grinnin’ so hard, he could barely ring her up.  And the white employee held a brief a conversation with the customer in another language.

The white employee eventually left.  I was the only other person in line.  When the customer left, the black employee looked down and around as if he was looking for something.  Then that joker walked off WITHOUT ACKNOWLEDGING ME.  He didn’t even look up at me.  He started talking and laughing with other store employees, never once looking back at me.  Actually, none of them did.  An obvious case of discrimination.

A black male employee walked over to the group and exchanged words with them (I was unable to hear everything).  The black worker that left me hanging said (while looking around), “I’m going to help her.”  That son-of-a you-know-what pointed to a white female, and walked off to help her.

I told myself, “Ain’t that a bitch?  No the fuck he didn’t.”  I rarely use bad language, but this was a no bars hold situation.

I walked around the area to find someone to scan my items, but was unsuccessful.  I looked and saw a worker helping a customer at the same register.  As I headed back in that direction, the black employee looked right at me, turned, and walked off to help ANOTHER WHITE FEMALE CUSTOMER.  This time I said, “What the hell is going on?  Ain’t that a muthafuckin’ bitch?”

All I wanted was my HP 564 black, and multi-color pack of ink scanned for a price check.  But instead, I received discrimination at its’ finest.

Of course I tweeted about it, as soon as I left the store.

bestbuytweet1

Best Buy commented on my tweet.

bestbuytweet2

I responded.

bestbuytweet3

I didn’t get another response from Best Buy.

I returned to the store the next day to purchase the ink.  I only went because my kids needed it for their projects.  That joker was working, wearing a bow-tie looking like Orville Redenbacher.  I was still frustrated, so I turned down the nearest aisle so that I wouldn’t have to walk past him.  I could have looked at his badge for his name, but I didn’t want to.  I already remember how he looks.  I don’t want to remember his name.

It’s not just about black-and-white.  It’s about customer service.  And the service that I received was downright POOR.

Best Buy.  Flint, Michigan.  Discrimination.  One day before my birthday.

 

Where Will You be on Black Thursday?

Rants and Tantrums,

Yes, you read the title correctly.  Black Thursday.  That is what stores are turning Thanksgiving Day into.  Stores are opening their doors for Black Friday shopping, as early as 5 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day.

I cannot describe in enough words how ridiculous and insane this country has become, over “deals” that really don’t save you any money.  Well, maybe a couple of dollars here and there.

I don’t remember what year this Black Thursday madness started, but I do recall reading advertisements and watching commercials about a couple of years ago.  Do people really skip their Thanksgiving meals to stand in line for a doll or toy truck?  I’m a regular customer at certain stores, so I laugh when I see “Black Friday deals” that aren’t really deals at all.  There are only a few items that’s an actual steal.

Since I’m ranting about the upcoming circus, I must say that I haven’t watched the local news at all this week, or read the newspaper.  That’s because I’m not in the mood to see all the tents set up in Best Buy’s parking lot.  At the beginning of the week, several families actually start camping out in the store parking lot.  That just sickens me.

So, where will you be on Black Thursday?  I’ll tell you where I’ll be.  I will be at home eating my Thanksgiving turkey, dressing (made from scratch with chicken, I don’t do stuffing), fresh spinach, baked macaroni and cheese, barbecue ribs, dinner rolls, and homemade sweet potato pie.  Then my boys and I are going to fix a plate for my mother, and take it to her new apartment (she finally decided to downsize) she just moved into this week.  After that, we’re going to swing back home, fix my brother a plate, and take it to the nursing home where he lives.  No, he’s not some elderly man, he’s young but paralyzed with Multiple Sclerosis.

Besides, I’ve been doing a lot of shopping online the past few years.  The stores offer the same deals online as they do in the stores.  And most of them begin their online sales hours before the brick and mortar stores open.

Whatever you decide to do, be safe and have fun!

 

I Created My Own Challenges

Random Thoughts, Rants and Tantrums, , ,

I am so tired of seeing all these challenges suddenly appear all over the internet.  You can find one million challenge posts per second, on Facebook.

The weather where I am right now is cold and rainy, and people are getting sick (I’m on day 5) from the sudden temperature change, as always.  So I really don’t want to see anymore ice challenges.  It was okay when it was 90+ degree weather out last week.  But it’s in the low 40’s.  Maybe a bucket of warm water challenge?

I have seen so many people on my social media pages post pictures of either themselves, or their children, doing some kind of challenge.  Then they’ll challenge someone else.

Funny.  My household ran a 50/50 raffle last summer, as a fundraiser for Tuberous Sclerosis Complex Walk for a Cure, Michigan chapter.  My 8 year-old son has this rare disease, and not only did I publicly post the fundraiser on my Facebook page, I sent a group message to nearly 30 people that I carefully selected.  I got no more than zero dollars.

But guess what?  Some of those same people are posting pictures of the ice challenge, and whatever-else-the-hell-challenge.

So, since everything is a challenge these days, I decided to come up with my own.  And since everyone is different, I came up with several challenges.  Be careful though, some of you will fall into more than one challenge, and that’s okay too.

Here is my list of challenges.  See which one(s) you fit into and get to work.

  1. Stop complaining
  2. Stop having to have the last word
  3. Don’t use the word nigga when hanging with your homeboys
  4. When joking around with others, stop calling them retarded
  5. Go to a nice dine-in restaurant and try eating something different
  6. Make sure your house is in order before you talk about someone else’s
  7. Book that always talked about, but never done it, family vacation in another state
  8. Read a book instead of talking on the phone
  9. Spend time at your local library.  Have kids?  Take them with you.
  10. Visit a nursing home
  11. Volunteer at a soup kitchen
  12. Donate to charity
  13. Spend time outdoors with your kids.  Don’t sit down while they play.  Get up and play with them.
  14. Plan and book that trip to wherever it is you’ve always wanted to go.  Go solo if you have to.
  15. Register to vote
  16. Give someone a compliment (also suggested by a fellow blogger)

Tough huh?  I will be adding more challenges as I think of them.

Let me know how you’re doing!

 

Celebrity Nude Pictures: Who Cares?

Random Thoughts, Rants and Tantrums, , , , , ,

Who cares about celebrity nude pictures?  Seriously, who?  NOT ME.

I have read several headlines, over the past few days, about celebrity nude pictures that have supposedly been leaked to the public.  But I have no idea what was in those articles because I didn’t read them.  Not even a sentence.  Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lawrence, Victoria Justice.  There are other names, I just don’t remember.  And I’m not going to try to remember because I just don’t give a damn.  I only know the three women mentioned above, because I just read a tweet on Twitter, thus prompting me to type this random rant.

Celebrity nude pictures.  SO THE F**K WHAT?

I have a husband and two sons.  I see nudity all the time.  I have a paralyzed brother.  Nudity there.  I also work at a hospital in an Emergency Department.  Nonstop nudity there.  Patients are either undressing themselves to prepare for the doctor and nurse exams, or we’re cutting the clothes off those that have been rushed in.

Celebrity bodies are no different than us unknowns.

MEN:  If you’re obsessing over these articles, or trying to see these alleged photos, then I suggest you find yourself a woman and love and obsess over her.

WOMEN:  The same goes for you.  If you’re one of those gossipers that’s breaking your neck to see if these pictures really do exist, then you need to get yourself a man and keep yourself occupied.

Out of all what’s going on in the world right now, most of the headlines have to do with celebrity nude pictures.  So I’m going to end with this:  SO THE F**K WHAT?