Category Archives: Rants and Tantrums

Family Tree

I recently read a post, on a social media site, about taking time to reconnect with family members that you haven’t seen or talked to.  And that if the lack of communication continues, a branch is broken from the family tree.

I would like to take the time to say that branches from my family tree broke off, and blew away with the wind a long time ago, and I am okay with it.  Over the years I have learned that no matter how hard you try, some things just cannot be fixed.

I Listen To One Direction And Justin Bieber, So What?

White female:  Girl what was that you was jamming to in your truck?  You was all into it, singing and bobbing your head.

Me:  Oh, I was listening to my Maroon 5 cd.

White female:  Oh my gosh, you know you’re not white, right?

Me:  Yes I know.  But um, you know you’re not black, right?

White female:  What do you mean?

Me:  Well, you did go to that Ludacris concert, did you not?

That was a brief conversation from two years ago.

I don’t listen to “black” music, I listen to MUSIC.  I really don’t care what color the artist is, it’s the words and the beat that matters.

Back in my carefree days, I listened to Run-DMC, Public Enemy, LL Cool J, Geto Boys, Too Short, N.W.A., 2 Live Crew, and others.  I had no responsibility.  No one to take care of but myself.  I had all the time in the world to tootsie roll and drop in my daisy dukes.

But my tastes changed to coincide with my changing lifestyle.  I am now a wife, mother of two young boys, work a full-time stressful job, and the legal guardian of my paralyzed brother.

I work 12-hour shifts, getting off at 1:30 a.m.  My youngest child is special needs, so I’m often on edge.

When driving home from a busy and tiring day at work, or trying to relax after handling my son’s meltdowns,  I want to hear words like:

You’re insecure, don’t know what for,
You’re turning heads when you walk through the door.
Don’t need make-up,
To cover up,
Being the way that you are is enough.

Everyone else in the room can see it,
Everyone else but you.

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,
But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell,
You don’t know,
Oh, oh,
You don’t know you’re beautiful.
If only you saw what I can see,
You’d understand why I want you so desperately,
Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe,
You don’t know,
Oh, oh,
You don’t know you’re beautiful.
What Makes You Beautiful
One Direction

And words like:

As long as you love me,
We could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke.
As long as you love me,
I’ll be your platinum, I’ll be your silver, I’ll be your gold.
As Long As You Love Me
Justin Bieber

These are the types of songs that I listen to during my hectic moments, which is almost always.  They are rejuvenating, and helps with winding down.

I know that my butt is big, so I don’t need Jason Derulo to tell me it’s like two planets.  And bands don’t make me dance.  Music makes me dance.  Sorry Juicy J.

Don’t get me wrong, I listen to the above artists, but on my way to work, and on my days off.  I can’t listen to party music when I’m tired and stressed out.

Just to add fuel to the fire for the haters, I’m liking American Authors right now.  I listen to Best Day of My Life almost on a daily basis.

So what is the point of this blog post?  Nothing really.  I just wanted to vent off that I can listen to whatever music that I choose.

Racist Tweet, Bad Joke, Or Neither?

I read a tweet last night that I found to be very distasteful.  It was a racist tweet, but of course the author of that tweet didn’t see it that way.  You see, Twitter is no different from any other social media site, personal website, or blog.  There are a lot of people out in cyberspace that feel they can say whatever they want, and not be held accountable, or called out on it.  I am referring to trolls, everyday people, and celebrities.  NO ONE IS EXCLUDED.

I instantly unfollow those on Twitter who tweets negatively about racism, discrimination, religion, politics, belittle their followers, block their followers because they “feel like it” (after talking rudely to them), and whatever else I feel I don’t want cluttering my Twitter feed.  Last night was no different.

One of my now EX-FAVORITE wrestling entertainment superstars, Gregory Shane Helms, aka The Hurricane, posted a tweet I did not find to be funny at all.  It was a bad joke.  Rude, disrespectful, and racist.  Sure, people interpret things differently, but we need to be considerate of others when talking, tweeting, Facebook, Tumbling, and whatever other modes of communication we use while on the internet.

This is Helms‘ first tweet.

tweet1

Of course when I read it, I immediately thought, “What the hell?”  Did Hurricane just say that?  He later posted the tweet below, but this time I commented.

tweet3

I got what I expected, a defensive response from Helms.  I expected that type of response just from the tone of his second tweet.  He actually said that people are racists if they think his tweet meant just “black folk.”  How are we racists?  He’s the one that made that insulting tweet.

He also told me to not think the worst.  Really?  So just what in the hell am I supposed to think?  Ape is a racial slur towards blacks.

Black people have been called apes, monkeys, and gorillas for centuries, so exactly what is he saying?  That tweet reminds me of that “I’m not racist but” phrase.

As a black female that suffers from PTSD, anxiety, and depression from an assault by a white man who made racist and derogatory comments towards me while trying to choke me, and succeeded at knocking me upside my head, I definitely found Helms’ tweets hurtful.  But that assault was nearly four years ago.  So I would have found that tweet to be insulting years before then, at an early age when I began to learn about racism and racial slurs.

I thought back to a few years ago, when I was playing a game of online Uno on Xbox.  A man with a white avatar greeted me (my avatar is black and looks just like me) with a “Hey nigger.”  He thought he could say whatever he want and get away with it.

So what did I do after I read Helm’s response?  Look at that second tweet again.  On the right-hand side you will see an image of a person and a plus sign.  White background.  If you’re not a Twitter user, then I will tell you what that means.  It means I UNFOLLOWED him.  If I was still following him, the background would’ve been blue.  It’s not worth the stress.

I would say that I can’t believe he tweeted those comments, but I would be lying.  People of all socioeconomic statuses make crude comments everyday.  I hear it all the time in the workplace and in other public places.  I don’t care what people say in private, but publicly, we need to choose our words wisely.  And not get an attitude when called out on our bullshit.

This type of behavior happens everyday, especially by celebrities who really think they can say and do whatever they please without any consequences.

Up until I read those tweets, Gregory Shane Helms was one of my favorite wrestling entertainment superstars.  I was crazy about him on WWE, and I especially liked his storyline with Molly Holly.  That quickly faded.

When a person makes a racist comment in public, and gets defensive when called out on it, then I lose all respect for that person.

The tongue is the most dangerous weapon of all, and those tweets hurt like hell.

I run an honest blog, so everything I type are my honest thoughts and opinions.

 

 

I Need Your Help

I have been trying to locate a document for some time now, and I have been unable to find it.  I cannot find anything close to it.  So I am desperately seeking everyone’s help in finding this important document.

I am looking for a law.  You know, a set of rules and guidelines that tells what we can and cannot do.  Anyway, I don’t know if the law that I’m looking for is on the local, state, or federal level, but it must be out there somewhere because I’m often called out on certain things.

I am looking for the law that says that just because I am a black female:

  • My natural hair should not be shoulder length, otherwise people might think it’s a weave.
  • I should always be prepared to convince people that my hair is not permed/relaxed because it’s “so soft” and “pretty.”
  • I have to like Beyonce
  • I have to watch Tyler Perry movies
  • I have to watch basketball wives reality tv shows.  (I don’t even know the name of the show.  All I know is something about Atlanta, basketball, and wives.)
  • I have to listen to “black music”
  • I am expected to cuss and use slang in my everyday vocabulary
  • I must gossip.  ALL THE TIME.
  • The farthest I can travel for a vacation is the 4-5 hour drive to Illinois for the Taste of Chicago (food festival) and the Cincinnati Jazz Festival.  Florida and the Caribbean are a no-no.
  • The only channel I can watch is BET (Black Entertainment Television).  CNN (Cable News Network) is not allowed.
  • Under no circumstances am I supposed to read comic books and attend comic conventions.

Whew!  That’s a lot.  See why I need your help?

Stereotyping.  We are all guilty of it.  What I listed are just a few of the stereotypes that I encounter on a daily basis.

I was chastised by a black female for not liking Tyler Perry movies.  I tried to explain to her that I don’t dislike his movies, it’s just not my preferred genre.  I am into horror, action/adventure, fantasy, and sci-fi.  A white female overheard the conversation and said, “YOU don’t like Tyler Perry movies?  I like Tyler Perry movies.”  I didn’t feel the need to further explain myself, so I shrugged my shoulders and walked away.

Back in the fall I was chastised and belittled for watching Thor:  The Dark World (IMAX, 3D of course) instead of The Best Man Holiday at the movie theater.  Yes I know that the handsome Morris Chestnut was a lead character, but I chose to put my love of superhero and action/adventure first.

I won’t even tell you how several black females got on my case for not watching Precious.  They were mad at me because I refused to watch that movie.  But what they don’t know is, I don’t care for black drama.  My life has been full of family drama for as long as I can remember.  Why pay to watch it at a theater when I get it for free all the time?  I didn’t tell them any of that because it’s none of their, or anyone else’s, damn business.

Do I need to tell you that people wonder why I read comic books?  And the suggestions of books I should be reading because that’s what they’re reading?  I find it funny that people recommend shit for me to read, although I have never seen a book in their hands.

I am going to end my tantrum here because I’m starting to type bad words.  Remember, cussing is expected of black females.  I think.

I am going to search for this law until I find it.  If and when I do find this set of rules, I am going to read them.   And then I am going to continue breaking them.

Children Do Not Belong On Social Media Sites

There is no reason for children, including TEENAGERS, to have social media accounts.  Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and other sites I may have missed, should not be on the minds of youths.

My oldest child (12 years-old) recently asked the age requirement for a Facebook account.  My response was:

You’re old enough to have a Facebook account when you’ve been out of high school long enough for at least one class reunion, have a job, and have your own residence.

I went on to explain to him that social media sites is a great way for adults to connect with childhood friends, and former classmates they may have lost contact with over the years.

Social media is also a great way for networking.  I have accounts on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, and I network with a lot of people whether it’s professional, hobbies, or just plain socializing.

But I can do that.  I am an adult that graduated from high school and college years ago, I have a husband, kids, job, and my own residence.  In other words, I have something to talk about.  Not giggle and post/tweet kid talk about something I’ve already said in 4th hour.

There is no reason for kids to have a social media account because they see each other at school, church and in their neighborhoods.  They even talk to each other by phone.

A child (I know this person well) sent me a Facebook friend request recently.  I was shocked.  I still haven’t told my son because I don’t want him thinking that he can create an account.

But I was shocked even more a couple of days ago.  Under the People You May Know section on Facebook were the names of two children, both in the single digit age range.  A what the f**k came out of my mouth before I knew it.  I rarely cuss, so you know I was frustrated.

PARENTS:  Keep your kids off of social media sites.  They have no business on there.  We are not around our children 24/7 but we should be aware of what they are doing.  And I’m damn well sure you know that your young children (maybe even your teenagers) are on Facebook and Twitter because they are on your friends list.

There are all kinds of predators lurking the internet.  Some may even pretend to be a child just to lure your children to their dungeons.  For the kids on media sites that are shy, timid, and bullied, watch out.  These sickos are just waiting to pounce on them.  But this won’t happen if you make sure your kids stay off those damn websites.

PARENTS SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE if they know their kids are engaging on social media sites.  They should be charged with child exploitation and indecent exposure, because they’re handing their children over to pedophiles, and other sick scumbags, on a platter.

If children insist on surfing the web, then steer them to educational sites like:

Brain Pop is used at my youngest child’s school.  There is a password, but some areas of the sites do not require a password.  He even wanted a home subscription for his birthday last year, and of course I got it for him.

My youngest also discovered Kids Health a couple of months ago while surfing the web.  He is special needs and was searching for EEG, a test he was scheduled to have within the next few days.

There are plenty of kid-friendly websites available for kids.  Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr are not on the list.  Well, they’re not on the list in my home.

Class Reunions: Should You Attend?

I was recently informed, by a childhood friend, that my name was submitted to serve on our high school class reunion planning committee.  Actually, she is the one who signed me up.  I told her that I wasn’t going to participate because I don’t plan on attending our next reunion, just like I didn’t attend the first two.  Well, I couldn’t attend the first one because I was in Jamaica getting married.  But I wouldn’t have gone to the reunion anyway.

So the question is, should you attend your high school class reunion?

The answer should be that it depends on the individual.  But a lot of people don’t look at it that way.  They feel EVERYONE should attend class reunions because it’s going to be fun, and you get to see your old classmates.  But I look at it like this.  I HAD to go to school, I DON’T HAVE TO attend class reunions.

I don’t do class reunions.

Of course those that are excited to the point of hyperventilating about their high school class reunions were the popular kids.  Jocks, cheerleaders, and class clowns.  Loud mouth, gum-popping girls.  Cliques.  Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.

I wasn’t popular, but I wasn’t an unknown either.  I lived on the honor roll, was active in sports, band, and even had a column in the school newspaper.  I didn’t belong to a clique, I was quiet and shy, and preferred to keep to myself. And I didn’t like half, if not more, of the kids anyway.

Most of the people I hung around back then don’t attend our class reunions either.  That’s because we don’t care:

  • who is fat now
  • who is still skinny
  • who can still dance
  • who still can’t dance
  • who is still pretty
  • who looks ugly now
  • who is still hoeing around
  • who has a boatload of kids by different daddies
  • who don’t know who their baby daddy is
  • which guys don’t take care of their children

I don’t pass judgment on anyone, so I don’t care to be around such nonsense at my age.  Again, I had to go to school, I don’t have to attend a high school class reunion.

Besides, I already keep in touch with a select few, so I don’t need to attend a reunion.  I can talk to my friends anytime I like.

Around the time of my last class reunion, I got into a heated discussion with a childhood friend.  She told me that I am supposed to go to the reunion.  We attended the same elementary school, but different middle and high schools.  She was always the pretty and popular girl who could dance.  Boys loved her, girls hated her.  She couldn’t understand my point of view at all.  She was very sarcastic.  But what she don’t realize is that, unless you walk in that person’s shoes, you won’t understand jack shit.

So I ask the question again.  Should you attend your high school class reunion?

It is an INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCE.

Have you attended a class reunion?  Why or why not?

UPDATE:  June 27, 2015
I wrote this blog post 1 year ago.  And my decision remains unchanged, I don’t do class reunions.  However, my 25 year high school class reunion is near.  Not only have I been asked if I’m attending, I’ve also been TOLD (by my closest classmates) that I am going.  After a lot of in-depth thinking, I am now considering making a cameo appearance at the meet and greet.  I may even slip in the cabaret.  But nothing more than that.

I’m sure you will want to know whether I go or not.  I’ll post my answer soon.